It goes without saying that the diagnosis of almost any illness can be difficult to comprehend, and sometimes, perhaps we underestimate that - well I think I did anyway. Without going into the boring details and super-long explanation, in March 2014 I was diagnosed with generalised epilepsy. (This post may help you to understand more: http://heidijackson.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/epilepsy-experience-diagnosis.html) This didn't come as a surprise however and I felt at ease finally having an explanation for past events, whilst being put onto medication reassured me that everything would get back to normal fairly quickly. I was and am extremely lucky in that my medication worked first time which is quite rare as some people have to be tested on all sorts of anti-epileptic drugs before they take effect. Even then, many people who suffer with the condition are still unable to live an ordinary life as seizures can interrupt their everyday activities.
After a few weeks of being on medication I had to have a follow-up appointment with my GP to have a chat and make sure everything was going smoothly. I remember sitting there in the patients chair and the doctor speaking to my Mum and I in quite a dramatic way, saying how after diagnosis you go through a 'bereavement stage'. At the time we were quite confused as to what this meant and why she had said it - I think it made us feel a bit weird, we were quite pleased to finally have an answer to what had been going on prior to the diagnosis and furthermore having treatment for it. I'm not quite sure who it is most difficult for initially, the one with the long-term illness or their family, because ultimately it can be hard to come to terms with.
Reflecting upon this almost a year on I understand those words from the doctor now more than I have ever been able to, even when I first got my diagnosis. Maybe it's because it takes time for the events and everything to fully sink in before you realise 1) what you've been through and 2) how it can effect your life in the long-run. Hopefully after the 17th March this year I will finally be allowed to start learning to drive, which seems like something that all of my friends have already started, but I have had to wait and that's simply the way things are. I'm unable to drink alcohol, although prior to my diagnosis, I had never drank alcohol anyway and I cannot stay out very late either as I must get a decent amount of sleep. Some people probably don't play it safe with their triggers all the time but I do just because I want to remain healthy and carry on living my life.
The fact I have anxiety, which I am also on medication for, plays a part in my diagnosis also because I guess I worry a bit - sometimes without realising it maybe. It's the fact that you have no control over the condition and it feels almost as if your body is in control of you and your actions to some extent. It's almost like being afraid of the unknown, although thankfully for me I'm lucky that mine is controlled. This is a daunting prospect but something that I'm coming to terms with slowly, the first step is writing this post and sharing my experiences as I feel that writing about my anxiety in the past really helped me to deal with it. Once I feel comfortable talking about having epilepsy I think it will lead to me feeling more comfortable within myself in terms of the condition, meaning that it won't concern or worry me quite so much.
I was thinking of doing a follow-up post on the stereotypes of epilepsy and how it is often perceived as just one thing, when actually it involves a lot more than that. Thank you for taking the time to read this, it would be great to know any feedback you have and I hope others with the condition are able to identify with what I've said here too.
After a few weeks of being on medication I had to have a follow-up appointment with my GP to have a chat and make sure everything was going smoothly. I remember sitting there in the patients chair and the doctor speaking to my Mum and I in quite a dramatic way, saying how after diagnosis you go through a 'bereavement stage'. At the time we were quite confused as to what this meant and why she had said it - I think it made us feel a bit weird, we were quite pleased to finally have an answer to what had been going on prior to the diagnosis and furthermore having treatment for it. I'm not quite sure who it is most difficult for initially, the one with the long-term illness or their family, because ultimately it can be hard to come to terms with.
Reflecting upon this almost a year on I understand those words from the doctor now more than I have ever been able to, even when I first got my diagnosis. Maybe it's because it takes time for the events and everything to fully sink in before you realise 1) what you've been through and 2) how it can effect your life in the long-run. Hopefully after the 17th March this year I will finally be allowed to start learning to drive, which seems like something that all of my friends have already started, but I have had to wait and that's simply the way things are. I'm unable to drink alcohol, although prior to my diagnosis, I had never drank alcohol anyway and I cannot stay out very late either as I must get a decent amount of sleep. Some people probably don't play it safe with their triggers all the time but I do just because I want to remain healthy and carry on living my life.
The fact I have anxiety, which I am also on medication for, plays a part in my diagnosis also because I guess I worry a bit - sometimes without realising it maybe. It's the fact that you have no control over the condition and it feels almost as if your body is in control of you and your actions to some extent. It's almost like being afraid of the unknown, although thankfully for me I'm lucky that mine is controlled. This is a daunting prospect but something that I'm coming to terms with slowly, the first step is writing this post and sharing my experiences as I feel that writing about my anxiety in the past really helped me to deal with it. Once I feel comfortable talking about having epilepsy I think it will lead to me feeling more comfortable within myself in terms of the condition, meaning that it won't concern or worry me quite so much.
I was thinking of doing a follow-up post on the stereotypes of epilepsy and how it is often perceived as just one thing, when actually it involves a lot more than that. Thank you for taking the time to read this, it would be great to know any feedback you have and I hope others with the condition are able to identify with what I've said here too.
No comments:
Post a Comment